May 3rd, 2010

I feel like I’m finally on the road to success. This week I received my first rejection from a potential literary agent. It’s a milestone that I knew I had to pass at some point, so I’m glad that it’s out of the way. Perhaps I’ll feel differently after the fiftieth rejection though….

Have you ever thought about the phrase, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’? I think someone must’ve said it to me recently, but I don’t remember in what context. I was probably complaining about something….. It’s one to lump in with, ‘The grass is always greener on the other side’. It crossed my mind that both are tantamount to saying, ‘Don’t try to change your life. Stick with what you have. Don’t risk anything. Your lot has been decided.’ I realise that both sayings are intended to be applied to one-off situations, but there’s something in their sentiment that I don’t get on with; I can almost hear my Grandpa saying them both – he was always very content with a simple, straightforward life….

Consider the flip side of both phrases – is it not possible to appreciate what you have? Are we not capable of assessing an alternative and then deciding against it? And sometimes – is the grass not greener on the other side? Why would anyone bother trying to achieve anything if it wasn’t? What would the world be like if everyone though that their side was always the greenest? I’m the first to want to play safe on issues that I consider trivial, but I dread to think what I’d be doing right now if I’d never questioned certain aspects of my life in the past.

Of course, we can sometimes be blinded by the green-ness, and make poor decisions. We can be blinkered to the favourable situation we’re in, and go after the quick-fix option. That’s why it’s good to listen to the take of others; to get a second opinion. But I’m saying this as though I always do. I don’t, because I think I know best and hate advice if it contradicts my own desires…. I’ll take advice if it’s something I don’t care about that much or if I can’t be bothered, or am unable, to make the decision for myself. Yet when it comes to an issue that I do care about, I tend to get a bee in my bonnet and just do what I want. I then usually end up regretting how I managed the situation. The ‘thing’ has gone, and I know that I had it (or was on course for having it), but don’t any more.

Is this a bad thing? I don’t think so, because without this process happening we don’t learn. Which is why they’re such dangerous phrases. How many times do you hear other people (or yourself) say that they wished they had done things differently? I guess that’s hindsight though, which is the driving force behind their sentiment. Our sense of foresight, by its very nature, is nowhere near as well developed…..

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